Thursday, June 09, 2005

Sage Advice

Not many of you all know this, but when I was a struggling clerk on the floor of the CBOT in the late 1990s, I used to sling drinks at the Wrightwood Tap for extra cash. It was by far the best job I ever had--made decent money, got to drink for free, and needed a steamshovel to keep the babes away. OK, so I exaggerate slightly.

Anywhoo, Metromix ran an interesting piece today about basic bar etiquette. To this piece, I add the following tips:

1) No matter how hot you are, you can't use the bar phone.

2) Yes, I know the bathroom is a shithole. But you're the one drinking here, so deal with it. This isn't Charlie Trotter's or Aunt Susie's house. It's a BAR.

3) If you're my buddy, you get a free drink or two. Free drink does NOT imply that you don't tip me, however.

4) If you're going to walk into a neighborhoody type place and order a glass of wine, it's gonna be crappy tasting wine. Deal with it.