It's Just A Fantasy (whoa ohh ohh) It's Not The Real Thing
Fantasy draft was this past Thursday at Killer Bee's house. Lots of bad tequila was consumed. Not once during the draft did anyone look at me and say "YOU IDIOT YOU OVERPAID FOR SO-AND SO" or "PICKED OFF, BITCH!"
I kinda missed the abuse the JFJBall elders used to heap on me back in the day.
Anywhoo, here's the 2006 edition of Saved By The Bell, formerly the New York Fairies formerly Snatchbox 220 (don't ask) formerly Mike and the Dyke (PLEASE don't ask) formerly The Geek And The Greek (my partner back in 1996 was our Greek office manager).
Quarterbacks
Mark Bulger: He plays in a dome 8 times a year. But he's been throwing to the same guys who have been starting for the Rams for the past 8 years. Nonetheless, he'll be my starter.
Donovan McNabb: Chicago guy who went to Syracuse. Oh yeah, and probably the best all-around athlete in the NFL. A bit of a risk due to lack of targets and coming off an injury...but he could either slide into the starting spot or serve as trade bait (I hate making trades in fantasy) if needed.
Billy Volek: Mehh. Needed another QB. He might get a bye week start. I said might.
Running Backs
Shaun Alexander: He was number one on my draft chart and I was willing to pay anything to get him. He cost me 50 draft dollars and at the time with my Cuervo-induced cockiness I figured they may as well just fork over the prize money then and there. Then I find out he's on the cover of Madden '07, which is like the SI Cover Jinx times infinity.
Mike Bell: Somehow this guy who wasn't even drafted has rushed his way to the top of the Broncos depth chart. Here's hoping he's the next Olandis Gary. Or Mike Anderson.
Ahman Green: I know there's supposed to be some unwritten rule among Bears fans that you never ever ever draft a Packer, especially one that missed a chunk of last season with an injury. But he's gonna be the go-to guy for the Pack, and with Favre no longer slinging down the field should see a fair amount of action.
Lee Suggs: Filler pick. His name reminds me of Suge Knight, a badass who's not afraid to bust caps in people's asses when they cross him. Intimidation factor: 10.
Wide Recievers/Tight Ends
Joe Horn: First game back at the Superdome and I can already see him digging a cell phone out from under the goalpost and calling Ray Nagin.
Ashley Lelie: Liked him in Denver. Like him even more in Atlanta.
Santana Moss: Best reciever with the last name Moss not named Randy. I'm a little worried that Randle El might steal catches from him though.
Keyshawn Johnson: A mainstay of Ilk-owned fantasy teams since 1996. Just give him the damned ball.
Chris Cooley: I haven't had a good tight end on my team since Ben Coates in the late 1990s. Can he be the guy to reverse the trend?
Ben Troupe: He'll make a great fill-in as needed.
Itu Mili: Probably the "most likely to end up on the waiver wire after week 1" guy on my team
Kickers
Jeff Wilkins: Kicks in dome. Has cool last name.
Defenses
Buffalo: Gotta show the hometown team some love, and by the time McGahee came up for auction I was already out of money.
NY Giants: I think they were the highest ranked unit still left when my turn came up.
Fantasy draft was this past Thursday at Killer Bee's house. Lots of bad tequila was consumed. Not once during the draft did anyone look at me and say "YOU IDIOT YOU OVERPAID FOR SO-AND SO" or "PICKED OFF, BITCH!"
I kinda missed the abuse the JFJBall elders used to heap on me back in the day.
Anywhoo, here's the 2006 edition of Saved By The Bell, formerly the New York Fairies formerly Snatchbox 220 (don't ask) formerly Mike and the Dyke (PLEASE don't ask) formerly The Geek And The Greek (my partner back in 1996 was our Greek office manager).
Quarterbacks
Mark Bulger: He plays in a dome 8 times a year. But he's been throwing to the same guys who have been starting for the Rams for the past 8 years. Nonetheless, he'll be my starter.
Donovan McNabb: Chicago guy who went to Syracuse. Oh yeah, and probably the best all-around athlete in the NFL. A bit of a risk due to lack of targets and coming off an injury...but he could either slide into the starting spot or serve as trade bait (I hate making trades in fantasy) if needed.
Billy Volek: Mehh. Needed another QB. He might get a bye week start. I said might.
Running Backs
Shaun Alexander: He was number one on my draft chart and I was willing to pay anything to get him. He cost me 50 draft dollars and at the time with my Cuervo-induced cockiness I figured they may as well just fork over the prize money then and there. Then I find out he's on the cover of Madden '07, which is like the SI Cover Jinx times infinity.
Mike Bell: Somehow this guy who wasn't even drafted has rushed his way to the top of the Broncos depth chart. Here's hoping he's the next Olandis Gary. Or Mike Anderson.
Ahman Green: I know there's supposed to be some unwritten rule among Bears fans that you never ever ever draft a Packer, especially one that missed a chunk of last season with an injury. But he's gonna be the go-to guy for the Pack, and with Favre no longer slinging down the field should see a fair amount of action.
Lee Suggs: Filler pick. His name reminds me of Suge Knight, a badass who's not afraid to bust caps in people's asses when they cross him. Intimidation factor: 10.
Wide Recievers/Tight Ends
Joe Horn: First game back at the Superdome and I can already see him digging a cell phone out from under the goalpost and calling Ray Nagin.
Ashley Lelie: Liked him in Denver. Like him even more in Atlanta.
Santana Moss: Best reciever with the last name Moss not named Randy. I'm a little worried that Randle El might steal catches from him though.
Keyshawn Johnson: A mainstay of Ilk-owned fantasy teams since 1996. Just give him the damned ball.
Chris Cooley: I haven't had a good tight end on my team since Ben Coates in the late 1990s. Can he be the guy to reverse the trend?
Ben Troupe: He'll make a great fill-in as needed.
Itu Mili: Probably the "most likely to end up on the waiver wire after week 1" guy on my team
Kickers
Jeff Wilkins: Kicks in dome. Has cool last name.
Defenses
Buffalo: Gotta show the hometown team some love, and by the time McGahee came up for auction I was already out of money.
NY Giants: I think they were the highest ranked unit still left when my turn came up.
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