Ouch! Woof!
Scene: Ilk's pitch-black bedroom, 4:19 AM. As is his custom, flannel-pants-clad Ilk rolls out of bed to take his early morning trip to the bathroom. On way to bathroom, Ilk kicks the open door to metal crate containing Carson, Ilk's faithful and trusty beagle mutt. Carson, awoken by this sudden disturbance, begins to bark. LOUD. Bark awakens Ilk's sleeping night-terror-prone girlfriend, who sits bolt upright and screams. Ilk, oblivious to all this due to the pain in his foot, unleashes a loud string of obscentities as he hobbles to the bathroom.
Meanwhile, the starveling 18 month old brat who lives on the other side of Ilk's unit hears the ruckus and starts caterwauling, as she is often prone to do. Brat's overweight mother and pasty IT geek father get up, and one can hear father (who has quite the temper as is usually the case with pasty geek types) swearing his head off about the damned dog next door.
Ilk manages to relieve himself, and fishes for BandAids in pitch black darkness. Ilk applies BandAid to gash on foot, but misses the cut by about 2 inches due to aforementioned darkness. Ilk hobbles back to bed and clims in, but can't fall asleep for 20 minutes because of the brat next door.
FADE OUT.
Scarlett Johannsson is now dating Derek Jeter...
Wonder if her next movie will feature her sitting around the Yankees spring training complex in a camisole, looking pensive as she sulks and broods?
Scene: Ilk's pitch-black bedroom, 4:19 AM. As is his custom, flannel-pants-clad Ilk rolls out of bed to take his early morning trip to the bathroom. On way to bathroom, Ilk kicks the open door to metal crate containing Carson, Ilk's faithful and trusty beagle mutt. Carson, awoken by this sudden disturbance, begins to bark. LOUD. Bark awakens Ilk's sleeping night-terror-prone girlfriend, who sits bolt upright and screams. Ilk, oblivious to all this due to the pain in his foot, unleashes a loud string of obscentities as he hobbles to the bathroom.
Meanwhile, the starveling 18 month old brat who lives on the other side of Ilk's unit hears the ruckus and starts caterwauling, as she is often prone to do. Brat's overweight mother and pasty IT geek father get up, and one can hear father (who has quite the temper as is usually the case with pasty geek types) swearing his head off about the damned dog next door.
Ilk manages to relieve himself, and fishes for BandAids in pitch black darkness. Ilk applies BandAid to gash on foot, but misses the cut by about 2 inches due to aforementioned darkness. Ilk hobbles back to bed and clims in, but can't fall asleep for 20 minutes because of the brat next door.
FADE OUT.
Scarlett Johannsson is now dating Derek Jeter...
Wonder if her next movie will feature her sitting around the Yankees spring training complex in a camisole, looking pensive as she sulks and broods?
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