Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Words Of Wisdom

...from Pat Ferrini on White Sox Interactive:

If you're from Chicago, you might be a White Sox fan if...
...you spell "clue" K-L-U.
...you hate Hunter Wendlestedt
...you turn off your cell phone before a baseball game.
...you've worked a day in your life.
...you think Jon Rooney should be in the Hall-of-Fame.
...losers aren't lovable.
...Nellie Fox is the greatest second baseman of all-time.
...a home run hit barely past Torii Hunter causes you to break a sweat.
...your team has the best record in baseball.
...you think Wrigleyville should just be annexed by Iowa and Wisconsin.
...you hate sportswriters.
...you love Dan McNeil.
...you prefer a park that doesn't smell like urinal and pose a lifethreatening risk everytime you buy a ticket.
...you miss McCuddy's.
...you need only one pre-game bar and it happens to be in the bullpen.
...you prefer tailgating.
...you hate the Twins, Tigers, Indians, Yankees, Red Sox, Dodgers, Reds, Giants, Blue Jays, A's, and Cubs.
...you are skeptical about everything.
...Ozzieball/Smartball/Smallball is exactly what you've been screaming at the Sox to do for the last decade.
...you refuse to buy the Tribune out of principle.
...Steve Bartman is a personal hero.
...you still hope the Sox will bring back Robin Ventura.
...you know who Brooks Boyer is.
...you've signed a petition to have Mariotti banished from Chicago permanently.
...you love Nancy Faust.
...Carlton has nothing to do with "Fresh Prince." Fisk should be remembered as a WHITE Sock.
...you remember Falstaff.
..."Disco sucks" chants still bring chills down your spine.
...even a 10 game lead in the division makes you nervous. In fact, it makes you more so.
..."Hitmen" has nothing to do with the mob.
...you can recite the entire lyrics from "Go Go White Sox."
...you appreciate the work of "The Sodfather."
...you know who the band Steam is.
...you can remember a time when professional baseball players wore shorts and collars.
...you don't give a crap about Ron Santo.
...you miss Dave Wills. (NNNNEEEXXXTTTT BOOM!)
..."Winning Ugly" is not an insult.
...you don't bother with the All-Star game (i.e. the Red Sox & Yankees v. National League game).
...you love Ozzie's antics and hate when the media tries to play up every little quirk as the end of the Sox season.
...you think Shoeless Joe has gotten a raw deal. Hey, no one ever found him guilty!
...you still love Harold Baines.
...you know and love Beltin' Bill Melton.
...the devil wears blue.