Pigskin

Not a lot of games really jumping out at me here in Week 4. But here's a Pick 3:

Miami (-3.5) over Houston. A few pundits have tabbed Miami as a possible Super Bowl team this year. I think that's a lot of crazy talk. Daunte Culpepper is no longer an elite QB. But Ronnie Brown is Ronnie Red-hot right now and the Dolphin D will probably smother Houston.

Cleveland (-3) over Oakland. While slogging away on the exercise bike the other night trying not to gawk at the hot ass on the treadmill in front of me, the ESPN news guys were going on and on about how Oakland might be the last team to win a game this season. The Browns are still the Browns, but the Raiders are still the Raiders.

New England (+6) over Cincinnati. The Bengals are coming off a big win against the Steelers last weekend in what SI now calls the "toughest rivalry in the NFL." Unfortunately, we all know if you're on the cover of SI something bad is bound to happen the following week. I'll go ahead and say that the Pats win this one outright.

As for my fantasy team, Kevan Barlow is filling Shaun Alexander's shoes this week. We dumped off Marc Bulger for him straight up.

The Enemy Of My Enemy Is My Friend (For a 3-game series at least)

Hysterical thread from MotownSports.com full of Tiger fans cheering on the Palehose to knock off Minnesota.

Back with football picks tomorrow.

Fantasy Football Rewind: Week 3

Yeah. So. Shaun Alexander's hurt. Great.

Yeah. Um. I had Ahman Green on my bench this week and he exploded for 30 points.

Yeah. Right. My opponent had Willie Parker and Anquan Boldin who almost singlehandedly outscored me.

Week 4 renews the oldest rivalry in our league: Ilk vs the Killer Bee.

Oh, and to add insult to injury, my Sox playoff tickets came in the mail yesterday. They'll make great wallpaper.

Fantasy Football Rewind, Week 2

Just back from Napa. Five wonderful days of good wine, family, and way too little football coverage.

Saved By The Bell gets thumped again, losing 120-91.

The Good

Donovan McNabb: Definitely my ace. Another solid week as he shreds the Giants defense (who I also started, doh) and puts up 33% of my point total.

Shaun Alexander: 16 points, 2 touchdowns. That's more freakin like it.

Keyshawn Johnson: On my bench, but might get the start next week after tearing it up for triple-digit yardage. JUST GIVE HIM THE DAMNED BALL.

The Bad

Chris Cooley: Turning into a points vaccuum. My league (much to my chagrin) treats all 3 WR/TEs as flex players. I miss Ben Coates.

That's really about it. Since I didn't get to see much football, really not much else to say.

Fantasy Football Rewind: Week One

Saved By The Bell gets off to a rough start this week, losing 110-90.

The Good
McNabb: Donnie Mac (ugh) gets the season going right, shredding the Houston defense for 300+ yards and 3 TDs. His point total was almost 1/3rd of my team's total output for the week.

Mike Bell: Gets a few touches, a touchdown, and a few catches. The downside is he's got a broken figure which may require surgery and a couple weeks out of action. The upside to the downside is that my backup Ahman Green had a monster day against the NFL's toughest defense.

Jeff Wilkins: 6 field goals. 2 from 40+. The Rams' inability to get the ball into the end zone well for him, but not so well for my backup QB Marc Bulger.

The Bad

Shaun Alexander: 50 yards rushing? No touchdowns? Indoors? Against DETROIT? That's one yard for every draft dollar I spent on him!

Chris Cooley: Highly vaunted TE gets two catches for -3 yards.

The Ugly

Looks like my entire WR corps had a less than stellar week. Best performer was Santana Moss, and most of that yardage was on one play.

Grand Opening...

NFL is now officially underway, and I couldn't be happier about it. Forecast Sunday calls for rain in the afternoon, which is perfect since I'm golfing in the morning and then when I get home I won't feel so guilty about spending 6 hours in the prone position on the couch with my laptop and the Bears on the big screen.

Fantasy Lineup goes a little something like this:

McNabb
Alexander
Mike Bell (by far the biggest question mark)
Horn
Santana Moss
Cooley
Wilkins
Giants

Picks go a little something like this:

Tenn -2.5 NY Jets
KC -1.5 Cinci (don't ever ask me to spell the whole name, because damnit I can't)
KC-Cinci Total > 46.5

It's Just A Fantasy (whoa ohh ohh) It's Not The Real Thing

Fantasy draft was this past Thursday at Killer Bee's house. Lots of bad tequila was consumed. Not once during the draft did anyone look at me and say "YOU IDIOT YOU OVERPAID FOR SO-AND SO" or "PICKED OFF, BITCH!"

I kinda missed the abuse the JFJBall elders used to heap on me back in the day.

Anywhoo, here's the 2006 edition of Saved By The Bell, formerly the New York Fairies formerly Snatchbox 220 (don't ask) formerly Mike and the Dyke (PLEASE don't ask) formerly The Geek And The Greek (my partner back in 1996 was our Greek office manager).

Quarterbacks
Mark Bulger: He plays in a dome 8 times a year. But he's been throwing to the same guys who have been starting for the Rams for the past 8 years. Nonetheless, he'll be my starter.
Donovan McNabb: Chicago guy who went to Syracuse. Oh yeah, and probably the best all-around athlete in the NFL. A bit of a risk due to lack of targets and coming off an injury...but he could either slide into the starting spot or serve as trade bait (I hate making trades in fantasy) if needed.
Billy Volek: Mehh. Needed another QB. He might get a bye week start. I said might.

Running Backs
Shaun Alexander: He was number one on my draft chart and I was willing to pay anything to get him. He cost me 50 draft dollars and at the time with my Cuervo-induced cockiness I figured they may as well just fork over the prize money then and there. Then I find out he's on the cover of Madden '07, which is like the SI Cover Jinx times infinity.
Mike Bell: Somehow this guy who wasn't even drafted has rushed his way to the top of the Broncos depth chart. Here's hoping he's the next Olandis Gary. Or Mike Anderson.
Ahman Green: I know there's supposed to be some unwritten rule among Bears fans that you never ever ever draft a Packer, especially one that missed a chunk of last season with an injury. But he's gonna be the go-to guy for the Pack, and with Favre no longer slinging down the field should see a fair amount of action.
Lee Suggs: Filler pick. His name reminds me of Suge Knight, a badass who's not afraid to bust caps in people's asses when they cross him. Intimidation factor: 10.

Wide Recievers/Tight Ends
Joe Horn: First game back at the Superdome and I can already see him digging a cell phone out from under the goalpost and calling Ray Nagin.
Ashley Lelie: Liked him in Denver. Like him even more in Atlanta.
Santana Moss: Best reciever with the last name Moss not named Randy. I'm a little worried that Randle El might steal catches from him though.
Keyshawn Johnson: A mainstay of Ilk-owned fantasy teams since 1996. Just give him the damned ball.
Chris Cooley: I haven't had a good tight end on my team since Ben Coates in the late 1990s. Can he be the guy to reverse the trend?
Ben Troupe: He'll make a great fill-in as needed.
Itu Mili: Probably the "most likely to end up on the waiver wire after week 1" guy on my team

Kickers
Jeff Wilkins: Kicks in dome. Has cool last name.

Defenses
Buffalo: Gotta show the hometown team some love, and by the time McGahee came up for auction I was already out of money.
NY Giants: I think they were the highest ranked unit still left when my turn came up.