RIP Rodney....

...star of the greatest golf movie ever made.

He had a million of 'em


"I tell ya I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetery plot. The guy said, "There goes the neighborhood!" * * * "Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide.' He told me to pay in advance." * * * "One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh." * * * "Oh, last week was a rough week. I noticed my gums were shrinking. I was brushing my teeth with Preparation H." * * * "Oh, when I was a kid I was poor. We were so poor, when my father died, they asked my mother, 'Paper or plastic?' " * *** "My uncle's dying wish, he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair." * * * "I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex. Last night, she called me from a motel." * * * "I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio." * * * "I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor, so they sent a priest to talk to me. He said, "On your mark. . ." * * * "My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday." * * * "I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the West." * * * "I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin." * * * "I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend." * * * "I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."