Thursday, April 29, 2004

Usually, I like to pride myself on being on the cutting edge of things when it comes to funny shit on the web. I think I'm way behind on this one though...but I almost wet myself when I saw this eBay listing.

Mike Downey pops out a decent column about fun at the ol'Cellyard today. I can't figure out his baseball affiliation for the life of me. I'd assume since he writes for the Trib that he's probably a Chub fan, but is at least somewhat fair to the Southsiders, unlike that chunky little troll Moronotti.

Anyone want to buy a used couch? You'd have to use it as a backup...you know, maybe keep it in the basement or something.

Thank God it's Thursday. This week has gone by mercifully quick so far, unlike last week which dragged and dragged. I've been stuck late at work the past few nights and probably will be again tonight and tomorrow banging out permissions upgrades. So far, the stuff seems to be working, knock on wood.

I've got a ton of laundry to do before heading out to DC this weekend...arrrgh.

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Old Man And The Sea...

Neat feature in today's WaPost about a guy, his boat, and some strange fascination with Cuba. I'd love to pull a caper like this off, but my final destination would be a bit more of the tropical paradise variety.

Sox blow one last night and then get a gift from the Indians this afternoon. My drunken self was at the game last night...one of the few games in the past 14 years that I haven't kept score at. I was so disappointed that I even went down to the Bullpen Barwhile the game was still in progress. On the upside, I did get to eat a steak pita! Yum.

This is funny, in that mean and cruel kinda way.

Loyal fan Mike sent in this piece about Lurch Kerry-Heinz and his atrocities in 'Nam. Thanks!

Monday, April 26, 2004

The complete works of Slick Willie...

Clinton's memoirs hit store shelves in June. Ohhh..what would I give for a tell-all of his romp in the Oval Office with that portly little pepperpot.

Friday, April 23, 2004

Patty Cake Patty Cake Bake It Buchanan!

Everyone's favorite isoloationist with a decent piece on the slow death of the neo-conservative movement. Good riddance.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

So much to say, so much to say...

Holy crap, it's been a while since I've posted. So much for my goal of posting every day. Guess it keeps me from turning this into a pageant of the mundane...but now I feel like I have to write a Russian novel.

Let's see...I guess most important, we moved to the new place last Thursday. The movers did an incredible job...the only thing that was damaged was my plastic tabletop hockey game that I've played exactly once. We've managed to get about 30% of our boxes unpacked...the kitchen is done and now the never ending battle of figuring out what goes where begins. The condo is a hell of a lot bigger than our old apartment, but strangely enough seems to have less closet space...mainly since there's no pantry or front hall closet. For now, most of my clothes are in a closet in the living room, but that's gonna change tonight. We bought this monstrous closet organizer that may require a second mortgage down the line...but hey, if it's got room for all my hats, dress shirts, and various items of White Sox coutre, I'm not grousing.

In addition to the closet, here's a few of the other things we did to the place:
-hired a painter to come in and paint every room. Main living area and the master bedroom is what Kris describes as a "sagey green." 2nd bedroom (soon to become my memorabilia room/office) is terra cotta red, kitchen backsplash and one accent wall are eggplant, master bath is eggplant and the guest bathroom is burnt orange. NOTE: I originally had this grandiose scheme of linking all the colors I mentioned to their samples on the Benjamin Moore website, but it looks like it's going to prove to be too much of a hassle. Our painter was great, but talking to him for more than 5 minutes at a time made my ear feel like it was going to fall off. KInda how most people must feel after talking to me, I guess.
-dropped in a new kitchen sink and garbage disposal. First sink that we bought was granite and looked really cool, but cracked when it went into the hole since it couldn't handle the stress of being pressed against granite countertops, so we opted for stainless steel instead.
-replaced all the cabinet hardware
Still have not figured out how to use the gas fireplace yet. Hopefully won't need to use it until November.

On a gloomier note, 23 people were laid off from my company this past Friday, including 2 that I was very close with (and one developer who I had been working on a project with for 2 months). Serious, serious bummer. Supposedly, these were the only cuts we'll see, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. We're in the middle of doing some upgrades to our permissions architecture, and the effects are pretty far-reaching...I;ve kinda been spearheading some of it (in addition to doing the actual physical upgrades) and am enjoying it...but my head has been just SPINNING for about 2 weeks. By the end of next week, things should be all squared away.

Played my first round of golf for 2004 on Sunday, in spite of a dreadfully sore neck. Hit the new irons like a champ. Played a great course out in Addison, and probably would have turned in a respectable round if my short game wasn't so awful. The greens were like concrete.

Sox playing not great, but good, keeping pace with the Twins in the Central. Last week they swept KC at home and took 2 out of 3 on the road from Tampa, where they normally stink up the joint. Last night was a wet and wild affair at US Cellular...hope they can even things up tonight in anticipation of my attendance there Thursday.

Bush has a new ad out pointing out what a wigglin' waffler Lurch Kerry is. But he still hasn't figured out how to stop crap like this from happening in Iraq. I disagree with you, Mr. President, this is a quagmire.

Ever realize something that feels pretty right at the time is pretty wrong, but if it was the same thing at a different time it would be all right? That garbled mess of syntactical thought has been running through my head for a couple days.

Sunday, April 11, 2004

Bend it like...

If nothing else, Drudge is at least good for links to sordid stories about David Beckham. Golly, girls can't get enough of this chap. Question is--if he weren't the greatest footie player in the world and just an average Joe, would women be attracted to him?

Headed up to Miller Park for the Brewers home opener on Friday. Brew Crew got soundly thrashed by Houston, hanging a 9 spot on the board in the 6th inning. Unfortunately, I missed most of it because I was absolutely wasted, along with the other 44,000 people in attendance. It was like the world's largest fraternity party there---everyone was schockered and underage. Guess when your team is as bad as the Brewers, you gotta do something to distract you. They sell beer in yard glasses, need anything more be said? Guess I was wrong earlier, it's a mix between a frat party and Mardi Gras.

Almost came to blows with some skinny little punk after I asked his girlfriend for a light. Kids these days...

Thursday, April 08, 2004

More good news on the job front. The weekly claims number in my opinion has always been a better measure of the employment situtaion than the unemployment rate, mainly because it's a hell of a lot more dynamic and "current."

Sox lose to the Bombers today, 3-1. They managed to scratch out a whopping 4 hits, and Scott Schoeneweis did his best Neal Cotts impression giving up 4 walks in the first 2 innings before settling down to being merely mediocre. Something's gotta give with this team, and it better happen quick, or they'll be in one hell of a hole by the time the end of April rolls around.

My suggestions are to yank Valentin out of the lineup until he starts hitting, start Uribe at SS and bump Willie Harris down in the order and try Aaron Rowand at leadoff.

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

More "Sopranos" in Chicago...

John Kass with a piece today on thuggery and loathing in the south burbs involving one of Chicago's hottest news babes...

You'll notice I have made no mention of the Sox and their massive choke job Monday afternoon. I was too disgusted to even think about it!

Sunday, April 04, 2004

Captain CAAAAAAAVVVVVEEMANNNNN!!!

So I'm watching Sunday Night Baseball tonight and all I can think of every time Johnny Damon comes to bat is "I am the Lizard King! I can do anything!"

Friday, April 02, 2004

Audrey Seiler...

Friend of mine came up with the idea yesterday that Audrey Seiler, the girl who went missing for four days in Wisconsin was a prostitute. He theorized that the attack from behind which happened in January was from a john who wanted his money back, and that's why she's been so mum on whether or not there's been any sexual contact. But why would a prostitute wander around a muddy marsh in Madison for a few days? Hmmm...not sure. Just a thought.

In more Ilk-centric news, I took a mental health day from work today to get cracking on cleaning the new condo. Kris and I busted hump for 6 hours over there and things are starting to come together. Strangely enough (especially for a place where 2 guys lived), the kitchen was far more disgusting than the bathrooms. Another trip to the Depot awaits tomorrow, followed by vacuuming and mopping, the latter of which I have no idea how to do.

Oh, and Lurch can cross jobs off of the list of things to bitch at Bush about. On top of that, he's bringing back a Dukakis re-tread to help with the donkeys' 04 effort.