Advantage: Lurch

I really hate to say it, but Kerry won tonight's debate.

They both started off terrible...Lehrer posed that question about how would you prevent another 9/11 and both of them started spouting on and on about Iraq. But both quickly settled into a grrove, here's what impressed me:

1) Kerry talked about his military service, without overemphasizing it. "I've been on those kinds of missions, etc..."

2) Kerry called out Bush about the giant clusterfuck at Tora Bora where bin Laden slipped through our fingers. I had no idea of what actually occurred that day, that we left it to the Northern Alliance to try and capture him. The "he outsourced that job too" remark was a little over the top though.

3) Kerry sounds like he wants to expand the military, Bush put any fears of a draft reinstatement to bed.

4) I thought Kerry would harp on Bush a bit more about the Patriot Act and am surpised he didn't...he really had a chance early on when asked about prevention. As most of you know, I'm not a big fan of the Act. (damned liberterian leanings kicking in)

5) Kerry laid into Bush about cutbacks in 1st reponders: police, firefighters, Bush did not respond directly to it at all.

6) Bush used the "wrong war at the wrong time" paraphrase of Kerry ad nauseum.

7) Kerry responded very well to Bush's accusations that he was paying no mind to Blair and the UK's efforts in Iraq.

8) Kerry raised good points about Bush not paying enough attention to the needs of the military overseas...getting body armor as a birthday gift. Come on, we can do better, and I hope Bush realizes this.

Were I an undecided voter basing my decision solely on tonight, I would vote for Kerry. But as we all know, that's not the case.

First of all, had what seemed to me yesterday to be a very successful interview with a Chicago financial powerhouse, so y'all keep your fingers crossed.

Now on to more pressing matters. As most know, the Cubs are now 1/2 game off the wild card lead thanks to Houston's late season surge. Latroy Hawkins blew the Cubs' shot at victory yesterday, and then the Reds tried to give it to them again in extras and failed when Moises Alou did his best Paul Konerko imitation and grounded into a double play, and then Derrek Lee fanned to end the game. So the anti-Cubbie karma in the air is pretty high right now. There's only one thing that will cement their 2004 choke though--my presence at the ballpark. So after my guitar lesson, I'm heading up to be-yooo-tee-ful Wrigley Field, where I will sit quietly, scorebook in hand, Old Style in cupholder and radio on head tuned to WGN (so I can hear Santo moan OHHHNOOOOOOO) to further hex the beloved Northsiders. They're 0-8 since 2002 with me at the ballpark.

Off to gomerIndiana for a regatta tomorrow, and then sailing season mercifully comes to a close.

Be warned, this picture may rip at your guts.

The Show That Never Ends...

Step right up folks, and come see Dusty's Traveling Circus Show!

SEE one of the greatest pitchers of all time don pinstripes and melt down when it matters!

WATCH a steroid-laden freakshow claiming to be a gladiator hop hop hop on routine pops!

HEAR countless masses of blue pajama-wearing fans yapping on their cell phones asking their friends if they can see them on TV!

SMELL the urine, the stale beer, and the grey meat hot dogs that have been boiling since July!

Tickets going fast...show ends this weekend!

Aside from watching the Cubs get stooopid last night, really not much exciting to report.

Apparently Lurch is pretty hard up for cash. Here's an excerpt from a letter he sent last night:

To keep the Democratic Party's essential October activities on track, we have to raise $2 million in less than 36 hours. So you and I both have some important work to do.

I will carry our values and our determination to lead America in a new, more promising direction into that auditorium in Coral Gables. And I will count on you to help this history-making grassroots campaign meet the biggest deadline it has ever faced.

Do your part to meet our deadline:

https://www.democrats.org/support/kerry.html

Does this remind anyone else of when Oral Roberts went up in his prayer tower and said he wasn't coming down until his flock forked over like 10 million bucks?

Not that there's anything wrong with it...

Is Alan Keyes' daughter a lesbian? Chillinois reports, you decide.

Moderately eventful weekend.

Did Critical Mass on Friday. One of the most exhilarating experiences I've had in a long time, zipping around the city streets on my bike while we make traffic wait for us. Lots of cheers from tyhe peds on the sidewalk, and lots of frustrated drivers. I still don't understand why the hell people INSIST on driving downtown...you're just asking for frustration. I also noticed that the most hotheaded of those stuck in traffic tend to be those SUV types...further proof that the giant SUV is the ultimate vehicle of choice for those with small peckers.

Red Flannels Regatta Saturday. Sailed well, but did not place well...hence, no link to the results to spare myself embarassment. We had to pull out of the last race Saturday though after a spinnaker dousing gone horribly wrong...the sail ended up stuck under the boat and got soaked, which meant it weighed about 200 lbs as we pulled it up. It also ended up with a small tear, which Rob was not too pleased about. Sadly, I think it was mostly my fault. We ended up not racing yesterday...Rob went and crewed on another boat and I stayed home and watched the Bears fall to 1-2 and my damned fantasy team fall to 0-3.

All my life, I've had some sort of strange cloud over my head. Not necessairly a black cloud of impending doom, but instead more like a kinda fluffly pink comedic cloud that pretty much guarantees that if something freakish is going to happen, it'll probably happen to me.

Examples of this include the recent TSA/Zweigle's hot dogs incident, the Dimitri-Young-broke-my-finger-at-the-ballpark tragedy back in 2003, the escalator at McCurdy's Department Store in Rochester eating my shoelace on a class trip in first grade...the list goes on and on and I'll spare you all the details until next time something happens. But anyway, last night I was chomping on a piece of gum as Kris and I sat in traffic on the Ike to go out to Elmhurst. As is my usual habit with gum, I got sick of chomping it after 5 minutes and tossed it out the window. Only problem was, instead of ending up on the pavement, it ended up stuck to the car door. And I mean stuck! I was able to get the bulk of it off through careful scraping and rubbing over the course of 3 or 4 miles (taking care not to get my arm severed by a speeding SUV or 78 Lincoln Town Car), but there's still a black spot on the door (kinda like when you get it off your shoe)...I wonder if cold cream or peanut butter will get it off.

Now, the Locks of The Week, for entertainment purposes only:

Green Bay +6 Indianapolis

NY Giants -3 Cleveland

1-1 last week, 2-2 on the season.

Big big I mean really big regatta this weekend. I thought for sure it was going to be miserable and blustery out on the big lagoon, but it looks downright docile according to this.

Chris Winters over at Black Betsy has a funny entry a few days ago about what baseball team your kids should grow up rotting for, and what that says about them. I think it was written by one of his co-workers, but at any rate it's below:

Child abuse: Cubs, Red Sox, White Sox, Phillies, Astros.
Making sure your child sets no goals for himself whatsoever: Brewers, Pirates, Devil Rays, Royals
Making sure your child has a reach sense of history but feels like a loser: Tigers, Reds, Indians
Making sure your child vastly overpays for things and has no sense of value: Mets, Orioles, Dodgers, Rangers
Turning your child into a spoiled brat: Yankees, Braves
Making your child an outcast with no support network: Expos, Blue Jays
Making your child frugal, but subject to a glass ceiling: Twins, A's
Making your child depend on one person his whole life: Giants
Teaching your child to throw out his best toys: Mariners, Diamondbacks, Marlins
Giving your child a sense of personal space: Rockies
Leaving a child with only the Cardinals, Padres and Angels to choose from. And who wants that??

Definitely good for a morning chuckle.

So I talked to my sister for a while this morning, a pretty rare occurrence. About 2 or 3 months ago, she got involved with this juice distribution business. Initially, I thought it was a good thing for her (I've never really understood her, she has a degree in English from NIU and would make a great teacher, but she gets caught up in all these bizarre schemes somehow), but after talking to her today, I'm convinced that while the juice may work wonders, that the organization may be just a little bit on the cultish side. There's some kind of "empowerment conference" featuring "successful woman speakers" this weekend, and she wanted me to ask Kris to go with her. It sounds like Amway meets the Moonies, if you ask me, and I'm a little concerned. I'll see if she's said anything to my Dad about it.

Everybody can pick their Kryptonite locks but me!

I tried doing it with 3 different Bic pens to no avail. Then again, I couldn't tie my shoes until I was 6.

Hot talk at the ballpark tonight (with the Sox as bad as they are, although they did win tonight in the bottom of the 9th)--is it possible that SF will overtake LA and end up winning the NL West, thus backdooring the Chubs into the Wild Card spot? It just seems to me like all the division leaders (well, at least LA, St Louis and the Yankees come to mind) are skidding down the stretch...even though they're for the most part not resting their studs?

Electoral votes no longer winner-take-all? Heaven forfend!

I like this idea. But I like the idea of allocating it the way Maine and Nebraska do (mentioned in the linky) even better. In states like Illinois, I think it could ultimately help the Republican cause, seeing as it's just one county that tends to vote Democratic anyway.

Knowing full well that the Sox would roll over and play dead for Minnesota last night, I instead tuned into Monday Night Football, where I was overjoyed to watch the one franchise in all of professional sports that I despise more than the Twins stumble, fumble and bumble their way through 4 quarters as they were roundly pasted by the Eagles. My feelings on the Eagles are pretty similar to the way I feel about Green Bay..I don't like them, but it's tough not to respect them, since they're always in the thick of it.

Saturday morning Rob and I pulled up to Corinthian at about 10, which was a little bit later than commitee boat people were supposed to arrive, but right on time in Rob's world where everything is about 25 minutes behind schedule. As we're walking to the docks, a guy stopped us, told us that from what he had heard the commitee boat was fully staffed and that he was clooking for crew. It turned out the committee boat needed one more guy...and that was Rob. So I spent all day Saturday racing on a Rhodes 19, which is a great little boat. Far more stable than a Lightning, it sails really well pointed close to the wind and isn't weight-sensitive at all, which is great when my fat ass is on board. The couple I sailed with were older...he (JC) is a civil-engineer who dabbles in options trading, and she (Stefania) is a consultant for privately held companies. We raced really well, taking second in the second race and finishing about middle of the pack in the other 2 races. I'm curious to see how they fared yesterday, but CCYC hasn't posted the results yet.

Went to the Sox game yesterday. They won with me present for the first time in what seems like months. In fact...it was months. According to my scorebook, last time I saw a White Sox winner in person was July 24th. Although I watched the Sox, most of my energies were focused on the Bears-Packers game...and I guess for once my luck worked. Sucks that Mike Brown is out for the season though.

Looks like Friday night I'm going to be part of the giant biking carnival that is Critical Mass. Mom's boyfriend Shelley is in town, and he used to do it regularly. Although CM'ers tend to be of the liberal persuasion, I do agree with them that there really are just too many damned cars out there.

Here are this week's "Ilk Locks OF The Week." Last week I was 1-1, stand at 1-1 for the season.
For entertainment purposes only:

Miami +5 Cincinnati

Denver -3 Jacksonville

Notmuch other than that. I have the grave misfortune of holding tickets for Sox games tomorrow and Sunday, which means that I'll miss most of Sunday football again. I'm working the committee boat tomorrow, which means I get to spend all day sitting on a crusty old powerboat drinking beers and watching big boats play chicken.

Alright, here's a teaser challenge for you:

What margin of victory wil be higher: The Minnesota Twins' lead in the AL Central at the end of the season, or Bush's percentage points victory in the national popular vote over Kerry?

Not much going on in my world today, so here's a few snippets from the rest of the world:

I had always thought of my hometown as a relatively conservative place. Mostly upper middle class, solid business and manufacturing base, good Protestants (myself not included) everywhere. But in recent years, ol'Ra-cha-cha has started to slide into the abyss of liberalism. As the economy went south, downtown turned first quiet and then into a pretty crappy place to live, and Rochesterians got pissed. Now, it looks like Al Franken and Co get to tap into that rage. For years, the Rochester radio market was just dominated by WHAM 1180 and its 20,000 watts of right-wing radio power, but it looks like that's changing.

In other upstate news, Samara Barend is looking to replace Amory Houghton as the south-and-west-of-Rochester's representative in Congress. Amazing, she's only 26 years old...too bad she's a Democrat who comes straight from the tutelage of the Iron Bitch Hillary herself. The sexist pig side of me wants to add that she's really cute, too.

My guitar teacher came in this morning and asked me if I'd heard the latest death in the world of music. Dumbass me had heard about it that morning, but misidentified the guy as Joey Ramone, thus making me look oh-so-unhip.

Silly me! I always just assumed Sri Lanka had a handball team. Apparently, they don't.

Of course, everyone is up in arms about the new Kitty Kelley book on the Bushes. Laura was a dime bag queen! Dubya liked to toot rails! Ol Prescott was a tippling gadabout! Bush 41 had a mistress and a bit of an ego problem! Slate outlines it all right here. What everyone doesn't realize is that they're no different than any other rich families. I'm sure the Heinzes had all kinds of stuff like this...and of course, we all know for a fact the Kennedys did.

Larry King Style....

I gotta say, the Florida Marlins are one exciting team to watch....Juan Pierre and Luis Castillo always get on base, and then they're hopping and skipping 3 steps off the bag looking to steal...Pierre is what Willie Harris should aspire to be...Jeffrey Loria is truly an owner of the people...Kan Zaman on North Wells is every bit as good as Levante's for Mediterranean food, and doesn't require a plane ticket...About this time every year as my beloved White Sox fade away I take colace in the fact that after the CBA expires in 2006, the Twins are probably going to be contracted and then the division will be ours, all ours...Pinochle is a really fun card game, and much easier to learn than I thought it would be...It's painfully obvious that by no means has the GOP cornered the market on dirty tricks in politics, and anyone who thinks that the media is controlled by Karl Rove and the Bushies should check out www.ratherbiased.com and take a look at Dan Rather, a true screwball...that's all for today folks, e sure and tune in tonight when my guests are Bush "biographer" Kitty Kelley and former President Bill Clinton.

There's an old saying in Chicago sports about a "perfect day." Bears win, Packers lose, or as I more often say, Sox win, Twins lose.

Yesterday on the other hand was about as I've ever come to "The Perfect Storm" when it comes to teams I root for, and root against:

Bears lost.
Bills lost.
Vikings won.
Sox lost.

Yuck yuck yuck. On top of that, my fantasy team put up the seond highest points total in my league...and lost to the guy who put up the most. ARRRRGGGHHH!!

Weekend was good, dinner at Tufano's Saturday and sailing yesterday. Yesterday's sail was pretty frustrating...Rob's wife Holly was our third, and whenever the boat starts to heel, she throws a fit. So Rob bitches at me to hike out more. Never-ending process.

The non-work week has come to an end. Woohooo!

Today I'm taking Aaron, a self-avowed hater of big box stores, to pick up supplies for his party tonight. We're going to hit Sam's Liquors (greatest liquor store in the world) for booze, and then probably Costco for snacks if he decides he can hold his breath, plug his nose and walk into that den of capitalism and consumerism. I did remind him that their CEO is a huge Lurch supporter.

Sailing Sunday, and other than that not much is on tap for the weekend. Sailing is great and all, but it's gonna force me to miss most of Sunday football...let's hope the fantasy team lineup as seen below shows up:

A Brooks	A	QB
T Henry	A	RB
W Dunn	A	RB
I Bruce	A	WR
P Price	A	WR
I Mili	A	TE
J Brown	A	K
D Rams	A	D
S Bears	A	ST

And today, I'll introduce "Ilk's Locks Of The Week." 2 games that I guarantee will put money in your pocket, even though these picks are for entertainment purposes only:

Baltimore -3 vs Cleveland

Oakland +4 vs Pittsburgh

Woohooo! It's already Thursday of my non-work week.

Last night was a fun evening. Aaron and I headed up to Clemente Park to play tennis, but it turns out that Da Park District has changed the tennis courts listed on the website into basketball courts. Luckily, Humboldt Park was only a few blocks away so we went and played over there.

Tried the new racquet out for the first time. Hit it really well, but the problem is I have lulled myself into playing Aaron's style of tennis, which he describes as "ticky tac"--lots of volleys and little low pokes over the net. I'm not that type of player...I much prefer playing a baseline game where I can blast shots past my opponent. Aaron creamed me in the first set, and beat me in the second 7-6...I think I may finally be getting my first serve where it should be, and I stopped charging the net so goddamned much.

After the match, headed over to a joint on Division called Small Bar, which is going to end up turning into Wicker Park's version of Ginger's Ale House as a footie bar. Watched the US-Panama World Cup Qualifier, which just might have had the most exciting finish to a soccer match I have ever seen.

Today: guitar lesson, laundry, Home Depot, and I'm gonna clean this messy house!

Boring boring Wednesday. Got some errands done, bought a new tennis racquet for dirt cheap. Got it at a store on Ashland called Your Advantage...very helpful people there. I tend to shun small independent stores because they usually translate into ripoffs, but this place is a definite exception.

My new foul weather gear came in the mail today. It's probably gonna be a bit big on me...but god forbid I should ever go overboard, you'll see me bobbing up and down from 20 miles away.

Other than that, absolutely nothing of interest to report.

Tom Ridge Ate My Hot Dogs!

I have no real problem with the Transportation Security Administration. Since 9/11, they've managed to keep the airways safe and clear, and security really isn't anywhere near as hellish as I thought it would be with the stricter procedures. But yesterday, the TSA did something to me that borders on unforgivable.

First, a little background. Back in early May, I bought 4 packages of Zweigle's hot dogs at the Wegmans near Dulles airport, which had just opened. As a kid, nairly a weekend would pass without Dad throwing some red and white hots on the ol' CharBroil (much to my mom's chagrin). The smell would get my juvenile taste buds in overdrive and remains one of the things I loved most about growing up in upstate NY. Eventually I came to Chicago, and every time I mentioned a white hot dog people would look at me like I had 3 eyes. When we left Rob's house in May and headed up to Baltimore for the Sox-O's game, I completely forgot to grab the dogs.

So Rob put them in his deep freeze knowing that someday I'd come back for them...and I did this past weekend. Before leaving for the airport yesterday, we lovingly packaged them into a small cooler. Upon arriving at Reagan National, we transferred the tasty frozen goodness from the cooler into a cooler bag. They were still frozen solid when I zipped them into the front pocket of my little rolling luggage thingamabobber. I checked my bag, the 4 of us grabbed a bite (our flight was delayed for 100 minutes due to mechanical issues) and eventually hopped the magic Airbus for the flight back to Chicago. After our uneventful flight, we headed down to baggage claim to grab our bags. As is always the case, Kris' bag was the first one out, and mine was the last one out. I snatched it off the carousel and immediately felt the front pocket. Still cold. I zipped the pocket open, and it was empty. My jaw dropped. My eyes watered. My dreams of kicking back on the couch Sunday after sailing with a white hot while watching football were dashed.

Naturally, I had to find out what happened. I prefaced my remarks to both of the very nice United personnel that I spoke with by saying "after you hear my story, you can truly say that you've heard it all." The second guy I spoke with told me that it is TSA policy to not permit perishable items in checked baggage. A cursory check of the TSA website tells me that perishables are permitted, but TSA and the carrier are not liable for them, so I can't even get my 16 bucks back.

Moral of the story--carry hot dogs in backpack instead next time.

Aside from that, DC was a great time. Lots of drinking..got together with some of Rob and Renee's friends Saturday and didn't get to bed until 4:30 apparently. Finaly got to see the Iwo Jima Memorial outside Arlington Cemetery and also climbed up the Netherlands Carillon, got some great pictures of the city...too bad it was so damned cloudy.

Not much too exciting to report today, so I'll start with the President's speech last night.

If we were looking for a knockout or a home run, we didn't get it. Instead we got a knockdown and a ground rule double. I've always said that Bush never speaks well when he's scripted, and last night was no exception. Started off with an outline of his domestic agenda...permanent tax cuts, no child left behind, etc. Having always had a medical "flex" account, I like the fact he wants to make them available to everyone, and that they'll be portable. Granted, these accounts don't instantly solve the health care crisis, but they're not a bad thing either.

Tax cuts permanent. Me likey, lefties don't. Big emphasis on helping small business..this from a guy who the Dems always like to say is nothing but a tool of big corporations. Tort reform...yay, indirect jab at the Dems and their infatuation with trial lawyers. Medical liability reform, yay...direct jab at John Edwards. Social Security for younger folks invested in the stock market...being the capitalist pig that I am, I really like it. It gives a lot of people my age who have never owned a share of stock in their life a chance to learn about the market at work.

I gotta admit, I liked the somewhat snarky way he mocked Kerry when he quoted him directly, using that kinda high whiny voice. Keep in mind this is a guy who has been under a barrage of attacks from everyone from MeatloafMoore to Babs Streisand acting as attack dogs for Kerry, and I think that was clever.

In other news, our vaccuum cleaner belt broke for the second time this week. Looks like a trip to Sears is in order. Off to DC for the weekend...more when I get back!

I am beat today...nice active day yesterday. If there's one thing to be said for unemployment, it's that it forces you to get out and do stuff to keep from going insane.

Did my usual 4 mile walk/run/shuffle yesterday morning. Got home and moved about 15 storage tubs out of the 2nd bedroom and into our storage locker downstairs. Said locker has a large support pole that holds up the building right smack dab in the middle of it, but somehow I was able to wiggle everything around it into nice neat stacks. I swear, the room actually seems brighter with all the crap out of it. Biked up the lakefront (I forgot how easy it is to get distracted ogling all the eye candy) to Recreation Drive and played 2 sets of tennis with Aaron. Following tennis, drained a couple pints at Goose Island and had one of their famous Stilton burgers, which is absolutely out of this world, but left me with quite a stomachache when I went to bed last night.

Got back from tennis (yeah, I wimped out and took the CTA home since I was full and slightly buzzed) to find Kris passed out drunk in the bedroom and snoring. Apparently she ended up going out with some of her DePaul friends and got a little nutty on the martinis, plus she didn't eat dinner. So I fell asleep on the couch after watching my personal RNC highlights reel (thank you TiVo, my new best friend) and then went into the bedroom later when I knew I was truly exhausted and the jet engine-level snorng wouldn't bother me.

Anyhow, Zell Miller gave one hell of a speech last night. He's now my favorite donkey.